“Emotions matter.”  This is the powerful, grounding statement at the heart of Dr. Marc Brackett’s book Permission to Feel. As a researcher, professor at Yale University, and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, Brackett brings decades of scientific insight—and personal experience—to a timely and transformative message: learning how to understand and manage our emotions is not optional. It’s essential.

In a world where emotional suppression is often mistaken for strength, Permission to Feel is both a research-backed guide and an invitation to rethink how we approach emotions in our personal lives, families, schools, and workplaces.

The Personal Roots of Emotional Intelligence

Brackett opens the book with a vulnerable look at his own childhood. Growing up in a home where emotions were often dismissed or mishandled, he experienced firsthand the consequences of emotional neglect. It wasn’t until a supportive uncle—a teacher—gave him “permission to feel” that his healing began. This pivotal experience shaped Brackett’s lifelong passion for emotional education.

This backstory does more than set the stage. It validates a core idea: emotional intelligence is not something we’re born with or without—it can be learned, developed, and shared.

At the core of Permission to Feel is Brackett’s RULER method, a systematic approach to building emotional intelligence. It’s an acronym that stands for:

• Recognizing emotions in oneself and others
• Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions
• Labeling emotions accurately
• Expressing emotions appropriately
• Regulating emotions effectively

Each step in this framework is explored through engaging stories, research findings, and practical strategies. For example, Brackett emphasizes how most of us have a limited emotional vocabulary (many people default to just “fine,” “stressed,” or “angry”), and how learning to name feelings precisely (like disappointed, overwhelmed, hopeful) is the first step to managing them.

The science is clear: emotions influence attention, memory, decision-making, relationships, and physical health. Brackett makes a compelling case that improving emotional intelligence is not just a “soft skill”—it’s a foundational human skill with hard consequences.

In classrooms, emotionally intelligent teachers and students perform better, enjoy school more, and experience fewer behavioural issues. In workplaces, emotionally intelligent leaders foster greater employee engagement and wellbeing. And at home, families who talk about emotions create safer, more connected environments.

Brackett argues that when we neglect emotions, we pay a price—in our relationships, health, and even societal cohesion. Giving people permission to feel is a radical act of care and empowerment.

One of the most insightful parts of the book is its critique of cultural norms around emotions. Many people grow up in environments where feelings are labeled as weaknesses, where boys are told not to cry and girls are labeled as too emotional. These messages are internalized early and persist into adulthood, leading to shame and disconnection.

Brackett challenges us to create new norms, both at home and in public life, where emotions are seen as signals—not threats. The book offers strategies for parents, educators, and leaders to model emotional intelligence and create environments where it’s safe to feel and express emotion.

A Call to Emotional Revolution

Ultimately, Permission to Feel is a call to action. It asks us to become “emotion scientists” instead of “emotion judges”—to replace suppression with curiosity, avoidance with compassion. Brackett’s vision is a world where emotional intelligence is not a luxury, but a norm; not an afterthought, but a priority.

Permission to Feel is more than a book—it’s a movement. By weaving personal narrative with scientific insight and real-world tools, Dr. Marc Brackett empowers readers to reclaim a part of themselves they may have ignored or suppressed for too long.