Psychology Today’s January 2023 cover promised “5 Ways to Find Your Purpose.” The article—aimed at individuals—explored autobiographical reflection, strength-spotting, curiosity cues, service experiments, and deliberate practice. At CoupleStrong we couldn’t help asking: what happens when two people apply those same steps side-by-side? Purpose, after all, is a primary driver of marital resilience; partners who share a “why” weather hedonic adaptation and daily stress far better than couples guided only by passion or convenience. Below, we translate each of the magazine’s five evidence-based methods into a relational roadmap.

1. Tell Your Origin Stories—Then Stitch Them Together

Purpose often emerges when we connect past themes to future possibilities. Sit down with your partner and describe three formative life events each—moments that shaped your values, ignited grit, or redirected your course. Listen for echoes: perhaps you both felt most alive mentoring younger siblings or overcoming early financial scarcity. When patterns pop, weave a joint narrative: “Our partnership exists to turn scarcity into generosity” or “We are mentors because the world mentored us.” Neuroscience shows that shared storytelling synchronizes brainwaves in the default-mode network—the region where identity takes shape—making the purpose feel lived, not imposed.

2. Map Your Combined Strengths

The Psychology Today feature urges readers to inventory character strengths and talents. Do this as a pair. One partner might wield strategic thinking while the other excels at empathy; together they form a blueprint for purposeful projects neither could accomplish alone. Research from positive psychology shows that relationships where strengths are seen and utilized report higher commitment and lower conflict escalation. Write each strength on sticky notes and arrange them into three “power clusters” your relationship can offer the world—whether that’s coaching other couples, launching a creative side business, or parenting with intentionality.

3. Follow Shared Curiosities, Not Just Obligations

Curiosity is an internal compass that points toward meaning before meaning is clear. Scan your recent conversations for subjects that make you both lean forward—neuroscience podcasts, urban gardening, jazz improvisation. Schedule a no-stakes exploration date around one theme. Studies on self-expanding activities show that couples who learn together experience a dopamine uptick similar to early-romance chemistry, while also gathering data about joint purpose. If the spark fades, pivot without guilt; this is purpose-hunting, not purpose-marriage counseling.

4. Experiment with Micro-Acts of Service

The magazine’s authors highlight service as a fast track to purpose. For couples, start microscopically: deliver a meal to a stressed neighbor, volunteer at the animal shelter once, or host a one-time Zoom for new parents in your circle. Track your emotional responses individually and together. Did the experience energize or deplete you? Over six months, let data—not lofty ideals—reveal which acts ignite sustained motivation. Shared service releases oxytocin and elevates vagus-nerve tone, physiologically knitting partners even as they help others.

5. Create a Daily Ritual That Reminds You Why

Purpose evaporates under the glare of household logistics unless tethered to routine. Choose a simple daily ritual—lighting a candle before dinner, reciting a one-line mission statement after morning coffee, or asking “How did we live our purpose today?” during your nightly check-in. Behavioral research shows that identity-linked micro-habits consolidate neural pathways faster than generic habits because each repetition fires both the motor cortex and meaning circuits. Rituals also inoculate the relationship against hedonic adaptation by making the invisible visible again and again.

Putting It All Together

Finding “our” purpose isn’t an item to cross off a list; it’s an iterative loop. Storytelling yields clues, strengths supply tools, curiosity suggests direction, service tests fit, and ritual locks in gains. Couples who circulate through the loop quarterly keep the purpose fresh, adaptive, and resilient to life’s upheavals.

When motivation is the ignition key, grit the engine, commitment the GPS, and faith the premium fuel, purpose becomes the road itself—stretching forward, beckoning partners to grow not just old, but significant, together.